Historically we have learned to love monogamously, that is, to love a single person other than yourself, and currently the word is heard much more polyamory, which describes the ability to love one or more people at the same time, but, however, none of these concepts are quite accurate to describe what I feel.
My problem with love is that we love with a purpose; We love because it makes us happy. The person makes us happy, and it makes us happy to feel those "butterflies in the stomach", but I would like to think that love goes much further.
Love really is loving selflessly.
When you love, you don't want someone's happiness because that inner desire to seek their well-being is going to give you self-esteem; Not even because seeing that person happy is going to make you feel better.
When you love, you want just because.
You wish for good things without even your own subconscious thanking you. When you love, you want the best for others out of pure animal instinct, without a starting or ending point; without cause or end; you love as a unique entity in its reason for being.
I have known and know hundreds of individuals who suggest to themselves to «get hooked» from another person, because it seems that being alone is scary, it seems that it is scary not having the love of your life by your side, because without him or her you cannot achieve absolute happiness.
That's why I also think that thinking things like "I'm very lonely", "all my friends have a partner except me", "no one likes me", etc... They are the main problem in creating inconsistent couples. Couples who have formed on a whim, due to social pressure, fear of being alone...
Without going much further, others are motivated by the desire for carnal pleasure: fucking. But not everyone has it so easy to get laid whenever they feel like it, and it seems that having a partner helps a lot to fulfill yourself as a sexually active individual, to the point that this sexual whim can become confused, in this case, with the desire to have a partner, to look for someone compatible to supposedly love, or even love.
At the end of the day, loving is always linked to a selfish desire, but in many cases it is imperceptible no matter how abundant it is, and it is really easy to understand that many relationships fail because they are camouflaged between words of love when in reality their definition is symbiosis: You are with someone not because you love him or her, but because he or she brings you happiness and/or sex, and you bring him or her.
Loving someone is all feeling, and loving is not desired or sought at any time.
It may be that selfless love is just the opposite of what is called love, and consists of, not even unconsciously, trying to be morally superior, and consists of, not even unconsciously, achieving happiness at the expense of happiness. of the other person; Maybe pure love is...
In reality, I don't know what pure love is, if not what it is not, and I assure you that if you look for another person to be completely happy, you are deceiving yourself.
The only logical order to achieve this is: first be completely happy with yourself and then find (without seeking or desiring) to people you really come to love.
You should never need another person to be totally happy or to consider yourself a full person.
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